@jeffstaple: If an alien race saw us thru our IG accts, it’d look like a utopian society of perfect bodies, perfect food, perfect pets & perfect sunsets.
@ChrisRRegan: Every 17 seconds in America, someone take a tomato off their sandwich and throws it away.
@kellyoxford: “Want me to get you a Coke with ice?” -my idea of foreplay
@jwoodham: There’s someone out there for everyone. Odds are you probably walked past them while staring at your phone though. Better luck next time!
@curlycomedy: Sorry I can’t hang. I’m too busy liking all of the photos you ever posted on Instagram.
@IyanlaVanzant: When we don’t ask for what we need, the need keeps getting bigger.
@JuddApatow: Sometimes time passes and nothing is achieved all day except you make a point of passing the place where there is a tub of cookies ten times
@lenadunham: I’m not a businesswoman. I’m a business, woman. So let me do my business, k?
@DavidRoads: The strongest people aren’t always the people who win, but the people who don’t give up when they lose
@sofifii: I feel like I’m always installing Adobe