@christerickson: RIP Facebook Messages. If you think I’m downloading an additional Facebook app, you’ve lost your mind
@Joshmadden: always show up for the opening band
@JimGaffigan: A breakfast burrito almost makes waking up worth it.
"@MensHumor: Facebook game requests are like the Jehova’s witnesses of the internet.” #word
@liamgaws: what poor life choices do you have to make to become one of the dudes who brings a dslr to a restaurant to take photos of his pasta
@BARONVONFANCY: IM HERE FOR YOUR DAUGHTER
@sofifii: I just unfollowed Ludacris because I don’t know why I was following him
@MaryKoCo: “Oh you’re Japanese? My wife’s also Chinese”
@MarcyLane: Depression is rough and all but damn if it ain’t some of the best napping you’ll ever do.
@jondaly: “Keep calm and carry on” - Bob Marley